Irrational Logic

Meet the Robinsons

2008-03-12T19:23:00.001-07:00

Ever see that movie? It's cute. I love the little pixar/dreamworks/whatever movies that are all great animation, funny adult humor, and a complicated enough dialogue that you always catch something new the second and/or third time you watch it. In 'Meet the Robinsons' there is a story line, the basis of which is... well, silly. But "failure" is a key component. Each failure is a lesson, one less option to try, and a means with which to begin planning for the next failure. The theory here being, seemingly, that through the process of elimination we will all succeed to build a better future with flying cars and talking, emasculated robots. And time machines. And miniature meatball launchers.

I recently had a setback in the grand life-plan. A few hours ago I received a call that ended with my not having the job I was all-but certain I was going to have for this coming summer. This was a shock. True, we're told not to 'put all our eggs in one basket' and to refrain from counting our chickens before they hatch... and other fowl metaphors. But I was so sure this time.

Alas... it was not meant to be.

I am surrounded by people I look up to on a daily basis. People who are self motivated; people able to continuously place tomorrow over today; 30 years from now over the pleasure of this moment. This is not my strong suit. And I am continuously finding myself regretting past decisions as a result.

My life is punctuated by moments of brilliance, while the substance of each day consists of mere delusions of adequacy.

This must change. Like many people, there is much about myself I would change... but this must change now. I'm sick of regret. I'm sick of looking back and knowing with absolute certainty that if I had taken the time, done one little thing different each day, I wouldn't be so disappointed in myself on a daily basis.

I know... "everything happens for a reason." I've heard these words from literally every person I've spoken to since I heard the good news today. I'm not so sure I believe it. While the 'big' things in life, like family, school, love, and... well, life are good. I like my life, I like my friends, and I those I love are obviously close to me for a reason. These things I will never regret, for they make me better than I would otherwise be.

I don't regret them. I regret me. It's an odd feeling.

But... could Meet the Robinsons be right? Should these failures really be considered opportunities? The Chinese symbols for "Crisis" and "Opportunity" are different by one little slash. One could imagine a bit of carelessness on the part of a calligrapher altering history as we know it...

Many people point to this as symbolic (no pun intended) of the fact that in each crisis lies an opportunity. For greatness, for correction, for a new beginning. For whatever. And, to be sure, sometimes this is true. Of crisis. But failure is simply life saying to you that at this moment in time, you aren't good enough. You aren't what is necessary. You failed.

I enjoy the moments of brilliance, or greatness, that I feel truly define me as a human being. Moments of feeling necessary and good enough. And if I could only bring myself to work a little harder... who knows. Part of me wishes I wasn't so damn analytical. Wishes I could just set myself to a task with the mindlessness necessary to overcome the boredom, the apathy, and the countless other obstacles my twisted psyche will undoubtedly throw into the forefront of my consciousness.

"I wonder what's on Digg? You know what would be great right now? Scotch. You should definitely have some."

But that isn't me.

But I'm not happy with me. So this must change.

What was that?

2008-02-26T18:41:00.001-08:00

Writing

2008-02-11T15:51:00.000-08:00

Why do people write? And what if they aren't good at it?

Narcissism aside, of course.

I've never understood the overwhelming desire to express ones ideas.

I experience it almost daily... an overwhelming urge to tell people what I'm thinking. To inform people who I'm absolutely certain couldn't care less about what random crap is going on inside my twisted mind... all about said twisted crap.

Why is that?

While an undergrad I took a class on creative writing. I did so because I used to love to write; to go off on strange tangents about strange things, playing with words and ideas.

The class was a miserable failure. There's an inherent inconsistency with a course on being creative... my creativity was not only being judged, but it was being judged in relation to those around me.

Guess what? I didn't like it. Weird.

Thing is, I don't really care if people like my writing. My creativity. It means nothing to me. So when someone tries to provide me with "feedback" (also known as 'constructive criticism') I get thoroughly annoyed. Because I don't care. It's about the experience... not the end result.

As many of you know (speaking of narcissism... as if I have any proof anyone whatsoever reads this), I'm a second-year law student with rather lofty goals, particularly considering where I came from. I've done well in school. Law school, anyway. And I've decided I suck at legal writing. Not just a little. I really suck at it.

I abuse commas. I begin sentences with the word "and." And when one word will do just fine, I go out of my way to utilize a myriad of unnecessary verbiage. Additionally, I apply alliteration as an artful aid. Ahem.

What it all comes down to is the fact that I have an extremely difficult time writing something I wouldn't want to read. And legal writing... it's boring. Often painfully so. I'm a bad legal writer. I'm a bad writer in general terms as well. And, you know what? That's okay with me.

I've actually been told before that I'm a "good" writer. This is utterly false. I am able to convey ideas, emotions, states of being effectively. I can leave people feeling good or bad, depending on my choice of words. Presumably, those would be conscious choices... Presumably.

This, I am good at. But writing, in the traditional Strunk & White meets the Chicago Manual of Style out for a glass of sake' sense... I'm kinda pathetic.

So I've come to terms with that. I'm okay not being a "good" writer. I'll stick with what I got. And I'll continue to use whatever words feel right at the time, regardless of what the rules are. Because I won't write something I wouldn't want to read.

(Dammit.)

Many people read to get the point out of something. For me, it's completely different. I can appreciate Hemmingway and Tom Robbins in equal measure... because for me, it isn't about the end result of the work. It's about the journey. This has made law school an interesting experience for me... but I digress. (Don't I always?)

My father is always beating me over the head with that life lesson. Life isn't about the goal or the result. The real result for each and every one of us is death. On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everything drops to zero. Life is all about the journey, and how we get there. How many people we can make smile along the way. And I'm trying to live it. In law school, it isn't easy.

On a related note, Kurt Vonnegut's son - Mark - has a great quote:

"We're here to help each other through this thing, whatever it is."

Vonnegut was a bad writer too. So it goes.

I hope that coming to terms with the fact that I'm not a "good" writer is an acceptable first step. And you know what?

Fuck the rules.

Writing is art. And rules (like laws) were made to be broken, redefined, challenged, and even ignored.

New Legal Journal at the U of O!

2008-02-05T22:57:00.000-08:00

www.theLegality.com

LAW STUDENTS MAKE SENSE OF CURRENT LEGAL ISSUES
Oregon Law Students Create Online Journal to Combat Legal Inscrutability

With the law ever-increasing in complexity, students at the University of Oregon School of Law are fighting back. As the speed of the media has increased, the rate at which incorrect legal information can spread has outpaced the rate of knowledgeable legal opinion, leaving The Legality, a new online law journal to tackle current events with a legal slant.

“A quick look at the message boards of the internet by anyone with a legal eye is like a punch in the face: one person claims their uncle once told them it was so, another claims how they think it should be, and everyone else jumps on board,” said Alexander JL Theoharis, creator and Editor-in-Chief of The Legality. “A big part of the problem is that–for current news stories in particular–there’s nowhere for them to turn to get a grasp of what the law actually is in a readable format.”

The Legality is the combined forces of eleven second-year law students at the University of Oregon. The site launched February 4th, and has already simplified complex events like the Hollywood Writer’s Strike, the Scrabulous Copyright Infringement Claims, and Police Search and Seizure. The site targets potential law students, lawyers who want to read analysis in various areas of law, the intellectually curious, and the media (who may be looking for depth on a story). Unlike traditional paper journals which can take more than a year to publish articles, The Legality’s coverage of popular events is made possible by a quick turnaround. Each week a topic in the public eye is selected, and over the course of four days the team assembles a comprehensive legal analysis in a style accessible even to those unfamiliar with the law.

The Legality updates three times each week with original content. New main articles are posted each Wednesday.

If you’d like more information about this topic, or to schedule an interview, please contact Alexander JL Theoharis at (206)-984-3119, or email editor@thelegality.com.

Absence...

2008-01-21T12:01:00.000-08:00

Doesn't always make the heart grow fonder. Sometimes it provides a much-needed respite. I hope that wasn't the case here.

Regardless, I haven't been around much lately, nor have I been posting... clearly. I apologize.

I understand that my rabid readers have been left wanting of late... actually, I don't know if anyone even noticed. Regardless, I promise to make up for lost time shortly.

Till then.

- IL

Me = Badass

2008-01-10T22:04:00.000-08:00

Looking for payday loans?

Hooray for Bacon!!

2007-12-21T10:05:00.000-08:00

Ben Folds live in Berlin - Rock This Bitch In Berlin

2007-12-05T19:27:00.001-08:00

In case you were curious as to what I did to my Business Administration exam this morning... here you go.
(Except for the whole "in-Berlin" aspect anyway.)

Law Students Have Feelings Too...

2007-12-04T21:30:00.000-08:00

The entire law school received this email today, from a member of the administration:

(Note: it had been raining. Mind you, we're in Oregon.)

Hello,

I hope that the recent rain helped shine your mind.

If you want to stretch and breath on a study break, you are

welcome to join me at 5:30 in room ***; or let me know

if you want to schedule another time.

Best wishes to you all on exams!

Signed,

xxx

Now I appreciate that some people need to be reminded to breathe every now and again. I myself enjoyed a bit of a nervous breakdown this evening where, had it not been for an 8:30 exam tomorrow morning, I likely would have been driven to drink myself to sleep.

The best part about this email, however, is not the tree-hugging touchy-feelyness of it. It was this response of a friend of mine via IM:

(redacted): I hoped the rain helped shine your mind???

(redacted): WTF???

me: no clue.

(redacted): her email privileges should be taken away

me: damn hippies.

(redacted): no shit.

(redacted): come breathe with me?

(redacted): f*** that

(redacted): bring me Starbucks

(redacted): that'll help my grades more than breathing

While I still hate Law School, every once in awhile, it pays for itself.

Crunch Time

2007-12-03T09:09:00.000-08:00

Yes, it's Crunch Time people.

No, not Captain Crunch... though the thought of crunchberries turning my milk colors the good lord never intended makes me kinda hungry.

I refer to finals.

I have finals this week.

Best of luck to all who are suffering a similar fate.

Those of you who aren't... I fart in your general direction.

That is all.

Flying

2007-12-02T09:50:00.000-08:00

It's Sunday, December 2nd, 2007.

2 years ago, I would have been in Boston, and there would likely be a significant amount of slop on the ground (for those of you who don't know, it doesn't really rain or snow in Boston, but instead it "slops"... a particularly messy combination of the two that seems to enjoy freezing solid overnight so that I can't move my car in the morning...)

I probably would be sitting in my cubicle reading NYTimes right now, on my third or fourth cup of coffee.

Today, I'm sitting in a carrel, which amounts to a nicer, wooden cubicle in the law library. It's raining out, and there's no slop to be seen. I'm writing here, while I should be studying Con Law II. While I'm not reading anything online, I am on my fourth cup of coffee according to the caffeine info on my Viso bottle.

I'm surrounded by people who are literally vibrating with intensity... it's amusing. But hey, who cares about them... this is about me, right? I'm not vibrating with much anything, and I'm willing to bet the look on my face is anything but intense.

Moving on, the point of this post is to point something out.

The particular carrel in which I have situated myself this morning is near a window. I've spent a considerable amount of time staring out this window, and seen some interesting things. I watched some small birds attack a couple crows, which always makes me laugh for some odd reason. I also watched one of these crows, from roughly 100 yards away, begin to fly right at me. Granted, it was far away, so I don't think he/she was flying at me per se, but instead I need you, dear reader, to have a frame of reference. While said crow was flapping away, the wind was such that instead of moving in the direction the crow seemed to intend, it was moving decidedly westward... assuming up is north, which it always should be if you ask me. So... left. The crow was moving left. My left, not the crow's left. You with me?

I found myself wondering what that felt like... flapping wildly, trying to go one way, and instead being forced another. Somewhat like childhood, I'm sure. Anyway...

From there, my mind wandered to the mindset of this crow, and whether it was having fun, or just becoming more and more annoyed with the wind, since it was obviously trying to fly to me, after all. I smiled at this thought... not only anthropomorphizing a bird, but also deciding that the world really must revolve around me. All in the same thought. How deliciously human.

Still smiling, I then looked down. Gross. Someone had gotten Con Law all over my desk.

I was suddenly frustrated with the fact that I was here, paying much more than was reasonable to learn about whether someone should be allowed to yell "Fire" in a crowded theatre. For a moment, I envied the crow. I thought that the worst he/she had to deal with was wind, rain, snow, ice, hunger, predators, people, pollution... I then stopped envying the crow.

Instead, I had moved on to the image of my crow, happily ensconced in a crowded theatre, when suddenly someone yells "Fire!" My crow just sits there, perched on the back of a seat making it difficult for the person behind them to see, trying to enjoy "Wedding Crashers" for the twelfth time, busily snacking on some chocolate covered grasshoppers... while everyone around him/her jumps and screams and cries and runs away. Being a crow, and thus possessed of a vocabulary presumably limited to variations of the word "caw," Flappy (I named the crow "Flappy" at this point... you know, in my head) doesn't understand the word "Fire," and the fear and madness the word can instill in others. So Flappy sits (well, perches... I don't know that crows can sit), and snacks, and watches... now quite alone. The movie rolls on, Vince Vaughn says something about loosening up and making some bad decisions... and at this point, I snap back to reality, and immediately wonder...

What the hell is wrong with me?

As I said above, the point of this post is to point something out. It has nothing to do with Flappy, or any other crows. Instead, it has to do with the fact that I will do absolutely anything to get around doing work...

And while I'm somewhat impressed with this particular journey my mind took, (I mean, I had a crow watching Wedding Crashers!) I nonetheless remain concerned with my complete lack of give-a-shit.

Any suggestions?

Go Pats!

2007-11-30T13:30:00.000-08:00

I know there's at least one Pats fan in Oregon... me.Go Pats! Run up that score!

I feel naked...

2007-11-28T21:01:00.000-08:00

I'm ENTP.

Introduction

2007-11-27T21:04:00.000-08:00

Who am I?

Lifetime student. One-time actor. A would be has-been writer.

Barely graduated high school, and applied to one college on the day the application was due. [In doing so, spelling the word "business" wrong on my application... to Business School.]

Somehow, started college with 8 credits from AP.

Liberal Arts, Business Administration, Political Science, and Philosophy major... only one of which I managed to graduate from.

Learned to love to question. Began to question everything.
Parents/friends became (more) annoyed.

Wrote, thought, talked, ate, and drank.
Loved life.

As a result, I enjoy nothing more than a good meal, a good drink, and a few good friends armed with even better conversation.

This may be the only constant in my life.

Graduated college in 4 years. (Almost.)

After college, bartended for a summer on a lake... and it was just as awesome as it sounds. Decided I needed a real job... for which I had no qualifications.

Went into Sales. Sold a record -zero- copiers.
Hated life.

5 weeks later, went into Finance and moved to the suburbs of Boston.
Annuities can be fun. For a while.
Hated life.

3 years later, spoke to a mentor who told me to go to law school. I reminded him of my undergrad GPA. Written recommendations ensued.

LSAT success led to options. Then, the seemingly random decision to move to Oregon in order to begin school with the U of O School of Law.

Loving life.

Hindsight being what it is... I now realize it was all inevitable.

I'm an atheist... and yet I'm fairly certain I was meant to be here.

[My hypocrisy (apparently) knows no bounds.]

So what's next?

Speaking of likes...

2007-11-27T13:56:00.000-08:00

I also like Calvin and Hobbes.

A lot.

Isn't it odd, how similar law school is to grade school...

One of the good things about being a law student...

2007-11-26T21:50:00.000-08:00

... is overhearing conversations like this one.

Guy: So when are we going to have sex in the library?
Girl: Um... we're not.
Guy: But...
Girl: It's illegal.
Guy: Listen. I made the offer. You accepted. I clearly relied on that statement. You are thereby estopped from denying me sex in the library.
Girl: You can have sex in the library. Just not with me. Or anyone else for that matter.

While I find myself siding with the guy in this one, I can't help but admire her... pluck.

Wanna know what makes me happy?

2007-11-26T20:43:00.000-08:00

So, in the UO Law Library, for the 2 weeks prior to finals the study rooms are locked. In order to use them, we are required to check a key out from the front desk. This allows us to get nice and settled in our rooms, ready to study for an obscene amount of time, and yet still we remain free to leave our little rooms, for the bathroom or a snack, locking the door behind us... without having to worry about someone stealing what amounts to our lives. At least, what amounts to our lives for the next two weeks.

So... on to what I like. The undergrads who routinely infest our library don't know of this. A few of the rooms have glass walls on two sides, one overlooking the commons, and the other looking into the library proper. I prefer these rooms, for a number of reasons. Foremost among them, this little gem:

My favorite thing, possibly the only thing I like about this time of year, is to watch groups of young undergraduate men and women walk by my room looking hopeful and cheery (and talking, of course), in search of a room in which they can study Bio 101, or perhaps Math... only to find that every single room is locked and/or occupied. At this point, they are forced to walk by my room once again. Now, they are no longer looking hopeful and cheery, but decidedly annoyed.

This makes me happy.
This makes me smile.

Perhaps, this also makes me small.
But you know what?

I'm okay with that.

We salute you...

2007-11-25T15:28:00.001-08:00

Here's to you Mr. Porn in the Library Guy
You boldly go where no man with an ounce of dignity or self-respect would go
You sit at the computer whose screen faces the main library entrance and do your "research"
Best free sites? Hottest women? Hottest men? Most latex per square inch? We may never know
All day, every day -- you're a pornography machine and that's OK
So, Mr. Porn in the Library Guy -- even though you're not a student, or faculty, or for all we know, even marginally associated with the University at large
We salute you for bringing sexuality to the least sexually charged place on the planet earth - the law school library!

iTunes & Cover Flow

2007-11-25T14:23:00.000-08:00

I am (a little) proud to say that as of this moment, every single song in my iTunes playlist has the correct CD cover attached to it... all 3500+ songs.

All with the proper pretty picture.

It might interest you to note that I don't even have an ipod with a color screen... I'm still rocking the 2003 version, which has worked flawlessly and without fail since purchase. So why did I take the time and effort to attach irrelevant photos to each and every song in my collection? In all honesty, I haven't the slightest clue.

On a somewhat related note, outlining isn't going all that well.

Scotch

2007-11-24T20:30:00.001-08:00

So I never used to like scotch. In fact, I was likely the only person in my family who didn't appreciate scotch, with the *possible* exception of my 10 year old sister. But that's a story for another time...

Then I met a friend... let's call him, due to a lack of imagination and a general appreciation for irony, "Scotch."

"Scotch" knows more about the stuff than anyone I've ever met. As a result of hanging out with him, I've grown to appreciate the intricacies, nuances, and other large, descriptive words having to do with scotch. Due to his influence, my friends' willingness to always try something new, and our inherent pretentiousness as law students, we've been doing different "nights." Bourbon night, scotch night, etc. There's a lot to learn about the various alcohols out there, and for those of us who thought of scotch as Dewars, and Whiskey/Bourbon as Jack Daniels... well, we all knew we had a lot to learn.

"Scotch" was able to teach us. We are forever grateful.

Before, I was a vodka man. Now, vodka bores me. There's so much more you can do with good bourbon, scotch, or gin. With vodka, most drinks are nothing more than vain attempts to mask the flavor of the alcohol. Sadly, that's true of most drinks, but vodka in particular. But I digress.

The purpose of this post was to tell you to drink scotch. If you don't like it, learn to. It's worth the effort, the expense, and the relatively small amount of time it will take.

Our last evening consisted of the following:

Dalmore Cigar Malt

Macallan 10

Oban 14

Lagavulin 16

Aberlour 12

Aberlour a'bunadh (cask strength)

Highland Park 12

Jura 10

Aberlour 10

Speyburn 10

(thanks Tom, for the list and pic.)

The Lagavulin was ridiculously good... peaty and smoky, and yet not overpowering like a Laphroig might be. The Aberlour 12 was great as well. With the exception of a freak shot of Laphroig 30 bought by a friend in Portland, these two maintain the first two spots on my list. But then, who cares about my list? Even I don't care about my list.

I'm done ranting. Moral here? Learn to drink scotch. It's worth it. Especially if you're in law school... we need all the booze we can get.

And so it begins...

2007-11-24T19:06:00.000-08:00

It's finals time again. I hate finals time.

I don't hate finals time for the finals... tests can be fun, and if nothing else, they mean I either get to flex some mental muscle, or will never again have to sit through a lecture on a subject I couldn't possibly care less about and have no intention of practicing.

I hate finals time for what it does to the average law student. It takes a normally rational, if overly-ambitious individual, and turns him/her into a complete and utter lunatic. People who you have never seen with a cigarette in their little fingers become chain-smoking maniacs. By 9a.m., most patrons of the library have consumed the better part of an entire pot of coffee. The stress is palpable, the anxiety contagious, the blood pressure visible in the flushed cheeks and popping-veins of my peers... I hate finals time.

I do most of my studying, for what it's worth, in one of the many coffee shops in town. Or ensconced in my cushy couch... though, this often leads an afternoon/evening of my staring at the television rather than absorbing Equal Protection. Problem? Not always.

This year is a bit better than last... as a 1L, I was among the frenzied and frazzled masses. This year, however, I know just enough to know I know enough... and to pace myself as exams approach. And also to drink more as finals approach, being an avid proponent of the 'Buffalo Theory.'

So, why start a blog? Well, I'm here on my couch (see infra), surrounded by Business Association materials, with College football on the television. I'm sure as hell not studying... which begs the question of why I'm drinking coffee at 7:00p.m.

Why am I drinking coffee? Anyway...

So, why start a blog.

I intend to use this little mass of letters and numbers as a tool. The best advice an experienced writer can provide an aspiring one is simply to write... and to do so often. Editing has its place, but is better left to the professional. Me? I like writing, as it helps me work out problems in my convoluted thought and decision making processes. Am I an aspiring writer? Probably not, but I once heard someone I respect say "scratch a lawyer, find a fiction writer." I don't know what that says about our legislative process... I'm going to just go with it.

Also, I've been privy to plenty of funny sh*t that has happened over the past two years, where I, or someone close to me has commented on a desire to document the event in some way. Usually with an expletive or two. Needless to say, I look forward to chronicling the many embarrassing events involving my friends... and inevitably, yours truly.

Also, while many people will realize who is writing this (probably as a result of my telling them) I like the idea of being able to write with a certain amount of anonymity.

Here's hoping I'm able to keep up, and here's hoping this doesn't suck.

Thanks for reading... feel free to let me know what you think.