Sunday, December 2, 2007

It's Sunday, December 2nd, 2007.  


2 years ago, I would have been in Boston, and there would likely be a significant amount of slop on the ground (for those of you who don't know, it doesn't really rain or snow in Boston, but instead it "slops"... a particularly messy combination of the two that seems to enjoy freezing solid overnight so that I can't move my car in the morning...)  

I probably would be sitting in my cubicle reading NYTimes right now, on my third or fourth cup of coffee.

Today, I'm sitting in a carrel, which amounts to a nicer, wooden cubicle in the law library.  It's raining out, and there's no slop to be seen.  I'm writing here, while I should be studying Con Law II.  While I'm not reading anything online, I am on my fourth cup of coffee according to the caffeine info on my Viso bottle.  

I'm surrounded by people who are literally vibrating with intensity... it's amusing.  But hey, who cares about them... this is about me, right?  I'm not vibrating with much anything, and I'm willing to bet the look on my face is anything but intense.

Moving on, the point of this post is to point something out.  

The particular carrel in which I have situated myself this morning is near a window.  I've spent a considerable amount of time staring out this window, and seen some interesting things.  I watched some small birds attack a couple crows, which always makes me laugh for some odd reason.  I also watched one of these crows, from roughly 100 yards away, begin to fly right at me.  Granted, it was far away, so I don't think he/she was flying at me per se, but instead I need you, dear reader, to have a frame of reference.  While said crow was flapping away, the wind was such that instead of moving in the direction the crow seemed to intend, it was moving decidedly westward... assuming up is north, which it always should be if you ask me.  So... left.  The crow was moving left.  My left, not the crow's left.  You with me?

I found myself wondering what that felt like... flapping wildly, trying to go one way, and instead being forced another.  Somewhat like childhood, I'm sure.  Anyway...

From there, my mind wandered to the mindset of this crow, and whether it was having fun, or just becoming more and more annoyed with the wind, since it was obviously trying to fly to me, after all.  I smiled at this thought... not only anthropomorphizing a bird, but also deciding that the world really must revolve around me.  All in the same thought.  How deliciously human.

Still smiling, I then looked down.  Gross.  Someone had gotten Con Law all over my desk.  

I was suddenly frustrated with the fact that I was here, paying much more than was reasonable to learn about whether someone should be allowed to yell "Fire" in a crowded theatre.  For a moment, I envied the crow.  I thought that the worst he/she had to deal with was wind, rain, snow, ice, hunger, predators, people, pollution... I then stopped envying the crow.  

Instead, I had moved on to the image of my crow, happily ensconced in a crowded theatre, when suddenly someone yells "Fire!"  My crow just sits there, perched on the back of a seat making it difficult for the person behind them to see, trying to enjoy "Wedding Crashers" for the twelfth time, busily snacking on some chocolate covered grasshoppers... while everyone around him/her jumps and screams and cries and runs away.  Being a crow, and thus possessed of a vocabulary presumably limited to variations of the word "caw," Flappy (I named the crow "Flappy" at this point... you know, in my head) doesn't understand the word "Fire," and the fear and madness the word can instill in others.  So Flappy sits (well, perches... I don't know that crows can sit), and snacks, and watches... now quite alone.  The movie rolls on, Vince Vaughn says something about loosening up and making some bad decisions... and at this point, I snap back to reality, and immediately wonder...  

What the hell is wrong with me?

As I said above, the point of this post is to point something out.  It has nothing to do with Flappy, or any other crows.  Instead, it has to do with the fact that I will do absolutely anything to get around doing work... 

And while I'm somewhat impressed with this particular journey my mind took, (I mean, I had a crow watching Wedding Crashers!) I nonetheless remain concerned with my complete lack of give-a-shit.

Any suggestions?

2 comments:

KC said...

This post made my whole day. :)

ralph manboobawitz said...

what the hells wrong with you?

Post a Comment